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Ignorant fucks

Ignorant fucks


Via Boytjie Blog

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience, economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality.

Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money-back guarantee.

Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations, free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss, no risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, no one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money, offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that’s just right for you and just right for your budget.

And say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying thank you. And if you act now, we’ll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying thank you.

Actually, it’s our way of saying ‘Bend over just a little farther so we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bit deeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit DEEPER, you miserable no-good dumbass fucking consumer!’

No wonder no-one was flying anywhere

No wonder no-one was flying anywhere


Via Bits and Pieces

Epic Movie!

Epic Movie!


Via Fuck Yeah Albuquerque

Awesome Pancakes

Awesome Pancakes


Via Neatorama

Ultimate Zefness

Ultimate Zefness


Via Die Antwoord Zeflings (Fanclub)

Via Maneggs

Nostalgic...

Nostalgic...


Via myconfinedspace

Apocalyptic

Apocalyptic


Via Dark Roasted Blend

Prophetic

Prophetic


Via Bits and Pieces

Socially Responsible

Socially Responsible


Via Osocio

Artsy

Artsy


Via BBC Top Gear

The Original Mutant Ninjas

The Original Mutant Ninjas


Via My Confined Space

Nom Nom Nom

Nom Nom Nom


Via leenks.com

Hmmmm, 3.14... Yum

Hmmmm, 3.14... Yum


Via Bits and Pieces

You best be watchin' the new A-Team fool

You best be watchin' the new A-Team fool


Via wwsmag

The Philosophy of Morgan Freeman
If you look up the word badass, you’ll find two pictures; one of Christopher Walken, and one of Morgan Freeman. They are indeed bad-ass for very different reasons, but one cannot deny that Freeman’s many roles (including Nelson Mandela recently) gives him a certain quality hard to find in other actors, a prophetic wisdom if you like.

The guys over at The Asylum have made a list of the most awesome Freeman quotes, and what we can learn from each one… Here’s one of the gems from Seven: “People don’t want a hero. They want to eat cheeseburgers, play the lotto and watch television.”

wicked cool

wicked cool

Check the list here via Funny Or Die

No Shit, It Ain’t Photoshopped
As any relatively savvy tech-head will tell you, ‘shopped images’ are a dime a dozen. But every once in a while you get some unbelievable images that’ll have you calling bullshit quicker than Julius can sue Nando’s.

true as fucking nannies my bra

true as fucking nannies my bra

You can check them all out here via Cracked

Stupid Google

fokken dom, my bra

fokken dom, man...

Via Bits And Pieces

Facebook Fails
Old, but entertaining sometimes…

Funny Facebook Fails

Via Failbooking

Maybe a Supercar Showdown Wasn’t a Great Idea
A recent inpromptu supercar showdown went terribly wrong for owners of a Ferrari and Lamborghini.

A wedding hosted at Eshowe’s sport centre left a trail of destruction as the party trashed the fields with broken glasses and bottles. Wealth abounded with Mercs and Porsches present, but also a brand spanking new Ferrari and Lamborghini, each still with paper plates. The owners decided it was time for an old-fashioned drag down Kangella Str, but it with these two morons having to explain to both the police and their insurance companies what happened. Smart move morons.

You dumb-ass motherfucker...

You dumb-ass motherfucker...

You can read more at MyZA via 2Oceansvibe

Road Sign Fails
Generally speaking, it’s tough enough for people to understand road signs, more specifically the ‘Keep Left’ sign… But others are more silly and incomprehensible. Here’s 10 of these greatly confusing and funny road signs…

Ummmmm

Ummmmm

See the whole list here, via The Presurfer

Two Certain Things: Death & Taxes
You can’t necessarily avoid the afterlife (bar succumbing to Vampirism or becoming a Jellyfish), but there are lots you can do to avoid paying taxes. The responsible thing to do is to pay your way… and ride the system dry on write-offs!

For some this works well, but once in a while that R12,000 business dinner at Teazers draws more attention than you had hoped; like this guy who paid someone to torch his business, then wrote the expense off as a ‘consultant’ charge!

Check it out here at A Whole Lot of Nothing

Awesome Artwork (Band Posters, Etc)

TheeOhSees by Nick Tassone

TheeOhSees by Nick Tassone

See the entire range here at his site.

Here It Is, The Truth

because there IS no explanation?

Because there IS no explanation?

Via Small Bits and Pieces

What Are The Odds?
Statistics are one of those wonderfully flexible things. In fact, 72% of statistics and odds are made up on the spot. How many times have you heard the ‘ten-to-one’ odds, and though to yourself bullshit, it’s gotta be more? Well you can check the odds for yourself at The Book of Odds.

Here is an example:

• The odds a person will visit an emergency department due to an accident involving a toothbrush in a year are 1 in 99,340, making a toothbrush slightly more dangerous on average than a garage door.

Check it out at Book of Odds

Crazy Mistakes Gone Great
Photography is an amazing invention that has changed the way we interact sociologically, and it has come a long way from dusty physical images of rooftops and angry-looking old people to today’s digital shots of cats doing bizarre poses with badly spelled one-liners all over the net (ala LOLCats).

The interesting thing about photography, though, is that it was basically born out of someone’s inability to clean up after himself. Yeah, that’s one for procrastination! Over at Mental Floss there’s a collection of 8 scientific discoveries that came thanks to laziness, boredom and making mistakes.

Thank you Mr. Photography-inventor-guy! No, really THANK YOU!

Thank you Mr. Photography-inventor-guy! No, really THANK YOU!

Check out the entire article here for some kief info. Via Mental Floss

Seriously Hardcore Baby Accessories
So your mate just had a baby, and you want to get them the ultimate present. You want to get something that expresses how hardcore your buddy was before he had to succumb to fatherhood, but a ‘My Dad’s A Rock Star’ T-Shirt just won’t cut it and they’re all out of Iron Maiden rattlers…

Worry not! Na Zha Baby Boutique brings you some of the most hardcore, bad-ass and seriously awesome accessories like cradles, rattlers and even walkers boasting machine guns. Yes, walkers with machine guns!

How fucking awesome is this?

How fucking awesome is this?

You can check the entire range out here. Via WebUrbanist

Amazing Fact Generator
If you’re one of those people who love pulling totally useless facts out of nowhere at the pub with your mates, then this one’s for you. Mental Floss Magazine has always been an amazing source of information worthy of a mention and a laugh over a few draughts, and now they’ve got the amazing Amazing Fact Generator which gives you short, useless facts at the click of a button.

Here’s just a few of these from the site:
1.
‘Jay’ used to be slang for ‘foolish person.’ So
when a pedestrian ignored street signs, he was
referred to as a ‘jaywalker.

2.
In 1976, the Chicago White Sox were nearly
laughed off the field when they wore Bermuda
shorts to the game.

3.
The Australopithecus afarensi hominid skeleton
found in Ethiopia in 1974 was nicknamed Lucy in
honor of the Beatles song, “Lucy in the Sky with
Diamonds.”

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